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French kissing

11/29/2002

French Stewart of 3rd Rock from the Sun (right) and me (far right).A fake French Stewart: me.The real French Stewart.

At some point in the future, before giant crabs take over the earth, as they do in the Time Machine (the book that is), some reader may wonder what your humble diarist actually looks like. The sad fact is, although I have been compared to Mickey Rourke, the singer Black (who was, as you may not remember, white), Billy Bragg, and possibly others, the person I most resemble is the “funny-looking one” in 3rd Rock from the Sun—French Stewart. I really must get a shorter haircut.

And consider a face transplant. If I book now, will I be at the head of the queue?

Could things be worse? They could swap my face with Michael Jackson’s…

Of course, if any lookalike agency out there is hiring AND you’ve got a Kristen Johnston on your books, feel free to call.

Incidentally Johnston “made her professional stage debut with the Atlantic Theater Company, founded by David Mamet.” Well, as the great Chicago playwright would say, “Fuck Me.”

Hurriedly scribbled by Dave @ 5:6pm GMT.

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